Recently I read this book named "A Long Way Down" by Nick Hornby. In this book one of the guys, named JJ, who wanted to commit suicide by jumping off the roof of a building, said "I had wanted to kill myself not because I hated living, but because I loved it. And the truth of the matter is, I think, that a lot of people who think about killing themselves feel the same way. They love life, but its all f***** up for them. We were up on the roof because we couldn't find a way back into life, and being shut out like that...... It just f******* destroys you man. So it's like an act of despair, not an act of nihilism. Its mercy killing, and not murder."
Now now now...... what I understood from the whole statement was that he was just trying to justify his act of committing suicide to himself. At the end of the day we all are answerable to ourselves and nobody else. So we try and convince ourselves that every act of ours was for an adequate and acceptable reason, and he was doing just the same.
Tell me why would one want to die if he loves life so much? Why wouldn't he try to sort things out? Why would he want to kill himself and leave behind his family and friends, whom he loves so much?
One is not shut out from life, one deliberately shuts himself out of life. We all are quite capable of finding our way back into life. Its definitely an act of nihilism and murder.
People who say they wanted to die because they hated life are at least being honest to themselves but I really wanted to know why exactly would any one who loves life want to die.
If any of you think the way JJ does, do explain it to me.